![]() They’re 13, and at this age it’s really not going to be possible for you to step in and control how things go. I don’t dismiss your concerns, but I truly think that this is something the kids are going to have to work out largely on their own. ![]() My Daughter Is Having the Strangest Reaction to Finishing College My Husband Is Intent on Our Daughter “Branching Out” From Her Love of Dinosaurs She has called Evelyn out on her rude comments and doesn’t want people to think she feels the same way, but that hasn’t stopped Evelyn from continuing to be insensitive. She realizes people who get lower grades aren’t “idiots,” and she doesn’t like when Evelyn rudely puts other people down. Bella is also a rule follower, but isn’t as hard on others as Evelyn seems to be. She calls people “idiots” if they don’t get straight As or if they sometimes break the rules. However, my daughter is starting to get frustrated and embarrassed by Evelyn’s lack of social awareness and emotional intelligence.Įvelyn has a strong disdain for anyone she feels doesn’t meet her high standards and will let them know with eye rolls and criticism. The girls are in a lot of classes together again this year and often work as partners (by choice). They both put a lot of pressure on themselves and feel a lot of external pressure because of the area we live in. Evelyn is a strict rule follower who excels in all she does, both in school work and extracurricular activities like music and the arts. They continued to be friends in real life the following school year, as they had many classes and interests in common. My 13-year-old daughter “Bella” became friends with “Evelyn” two years ago during virtual learning. It’s difficult for me to see her in any other way, however, because she rarely expresses strong opinions with me or her father, and often shuts down and refuses to let us know what she thinks during some conversations. For some reason, me saying this seems to bother her, because (as she told me) she does not think of herself as a robot who is devoid of emotion, and she’s sick of people like me saying that she is. All I want is for her to show that she is a human, and not a machine. I’ve tried everything, from yelling at her to reasoning with her, but nothing seems to work. I have had numerous talks with her about getting out of her comfort zone. Once you get to know her, however, she has a host of wonderful personality traits. It takes her many years to get fully comfortable with a person, and to start opening up to them. Ever since she was little, she has been very serious, and I would consider her relatively unapproachable. I am extremely worried about her and how this will impact her in the future. She finds it difficult to make conversation and is seemingly uncomfortable even with talking with some of her classmates, even those she has known for years. My 15-year-old daughter is an extreme introvert, and strongly dislikes big groups of people and large events. This may seem like a low-stakes question, but I am truly concerned. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.
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